I Am That Girl Now

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Oh, my aching head

You know, sleep is good. Sleep is an excellent thing. I really have to realize at some point that I am not 19 anymore and cannot effortlessly absorb staying up until 2 AM on Saturday without there being painful repercussions for days afterward. I just went to my Hub's office to steal some Excedrin. I dropped the bottle, spilling pills everywhere. When I finally got them back in the bottle and grabbed two pills for myself, I promptly dropped them. I was pretty worried that I was going to drop the water, too; when I'm tired, these days, I get pretty damn clumsy.

Water is another thing. Currently guzzling water. Even though I don't sweat nearly as much on weight-lifting days than on cardio days (by about a bucket's worth, I think), it still takes away crucial moisture. Combine that with the tired and the heat and oh, I'm so headachey.

On the up side, I noticed last night that I have quads. I mean, seriously, I never saw the damn things before, and lo, there they are; there's this little swoop on the side of my leg right above the knee. My evil calves seem to have trimmed down enough to show off my insane amount of muscle there, because I can make them change shape alarmingly by flexing my feet up and down. I can't see the back of me, so I can't tell what my hamstring-type muscles are up to, but I poked at them and they poked back, which seems encouraging. Arms are definitely less jiggly than they once were, and I can see more muscle peeking out from under the fat layer.

This bodes well. It seems to indicate that even while losing my mind to the "I can eat like everyone else does!" lie this past month, the exercise is still doing a good job. Muscle is good. Muscle is very good.

I have to admit, I have developed a rabid hatred for females of a certain body type-- the slender, streamlined ones that look like they've been made out of some kind of firm rubber. You don't see bones on these chicks, you don't see fat bulges, you don't see muscle, you just see an expanse of featureless, changeless skin. Nothing sags, nothing bounces, nothing moves, nothing pokes out. It's creepy. We have a few of these here in the office and while they're perfectly nice girls, I can't escape the feeling that they were poured into a mold and had skin spray-painted over the top, and that soon their alien overlords will send the command to kill all humans and these girls will smile perkily and smite us.

I understand fat. I understand skinny. I understand muscular. This body type, though, I do not get at all. I do not understand how it is possible, or how they are powered, and yet I see these girls everywhere. I fear what I do not understand, and I hate what I fear, so I have a powerful hate on for these gals. It's not nice of me, and it's not good, and I need to get over it. Gahhhhh.

I'm currently also full of hate toward various people at work. This probably has to do with the fact that they're bothering me while I'm tired and headachey and I don't want to deal with their petty shit. I should probably go home. Sadly, I have a big meeting in about half an hour. Possibly curling up under my desk and having a cry would help. Sigh.

13 Comments:

  • Yep, girls with that body type suck. I find that many of them were dancers as children though, which does explain it some. I was a softball player so I am stocky and muscular by nature. I find that if I take two dance classes a week for a couple of months though, my muscles start to get that long, lean look. Not that you'd ever look like those girls, but it might be something to try if that's what you're after.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:42 AM  

  • hate to burst the bubble, but that unfortunately won't work (being the muscular/fatty type myself). The shape and size of your muscles is predetermined, and no type of exercise will change the shape of your muscles. Just increase mass and if your lucky, decreases the fatty layer. That girls are just damned lucky, and i hate them too!
    I'm still looking for the type of exercise that will increase my height with 15 cm.

    By Anonymous Nienuh, at 11:04 AM  

  • I call that body type "made by Mattel".

    By Blogger Zara, at 12:39 PM  

  • You know, as a previously very heavy woman, I have ginormous calves. When I started BFL, I stopped exercising my calf mxs at about month 2. For one, I could lift a small car with them and not even flinch. I just couldn't find a good exercise to really work them any more than my own waistline had. Most importantly, all of my other measurements where coming down and that one kept creeping up.

    Point is, it's had absolutely no negative consequences on my weight loss and fitness level. I've continued to lose fat, increase my cardio endurance, and all of those other important things. Now on LBWO days, I jsut spend a little more time on my abs, where I REALLY need it.

    I say, trash the calf exs and see if you don't continue to make the progress where YOU want to.

    By Blogger Sioban, at 1:10 PM  

  • Believe me, I'm not doing calf exercises. I've nattered about my reasons for that in the past, and they're still true; closest thing I have to calf exercises are the ones where I stretch them.

    ::sigh:: Sometimes I feel like I ought to put a page up around here somewhere listing exactly what I'm doing, but that would take more work than I have give-a-shit. Alas.

    By Blogger Meg, at 3:39 PM  

  • Hi there Meg! I came across your blog and, not to sound freaky, but read your past posts because I identified with a lot of stuff you're talking about. My boyfriend sounds awfully similar to your hubby, I have food "issues," have tried to do BFL in the past (and am currently gearing up for a brand new challenge), and I also live in Chicago (albeit a suburb). In any case, I thought I'd say howdy and that your posts are much fun to read. Feel free to browse my blog if you like! :)

    By Anonymous Laura, at 2:13 AM  

  • ooh, so well put! those chicks never seem to have any freckles either. their skin is so perfect and smooth just like a fresh tub of butter... they make me cry...

    you sound so frazzled, meg... hope you're doing ok now!

    By Anonymous dietgirl, at 4:45 AM  

  • I was the proud owner of a 13+ hour tension headache from hell on Sunday. Four Excedrin spread out over five hours did little to relieve it... I finally ended up popping a Vicodin at hour 10.

    So, you have my sympathy, as I know horrible headaches. At least I wasn't stuck at work with mine as could just be on my couch in a miserable pile of headache mush.

    I hope you are feeling better!

    (hugs)

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:39 AM  

  • Uh, haven't been up that long. That headache comment was from me ;). Since I forgot that I wanted to mention how I also find those girls that have that body type creepy, I guess it's okay that I forgot my name. :P

    Zara's "made by Mattel" is a good one... however, I tend to look at them and wonder if their gene pool is the same as Gumby's.

    By Anonymous Mae, at 7:42 AM  

  • Wow, I've had a headache since Sunday and it has to be the weather. It's a lot of pressure and pain and it's driving me crazy.

    Anyhoo, I hope yours gets better soon and I've enjoyed your blog!

    Take care.

    By Blogger FairyDogMother, at 9:17 AM  

  • Ooh, you have the line. I've been looking for its return for 5 years. I'm going to rejoice the day I see it again.

    By Blogger Nikki, at 12:00 PM  

  • One of the things I remember most about BFL is how good it felt to see the changes in my body. I loved getting leaner, and seeing it so clearly. I hope the headaches go away for you. I also hate the body type you are talking about. It is so discouraging because I know no matter what I weigh I will never achieve what they have. So unfair this life.

    By Blogger ms ralph, at 6:02 PM  

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    F O R -- S A L E !! Sustanon, deca durabolin, dianabol, clomid, HCG, hGH somatropin/saizen, orgabolin, andriol, proviron, primobolan, winstrol, nolvadex, clenbuterol, Thyroid – T3, T4, THG, ephedrine HCL, EPO/erythropoietin, syringes/needles, equipoise, 1-testosterone, carnitor/L-carnitine injection, aspirin, insulin, xenical, viagra, glucophage, teslac, cypionate, propionate, anavar, meridia, accutane, norandren brovel, nandrolona ttokyo, reforvit, anadrol, lutalyse, masteron,enanthate,omnadren, denkall testosterone, finaplix, test.suspension, IGF-1,laurabolin, aranesp, reductil, DNP, usnic acid, proscar,etc


    ======= We ship worldwide. For complete pricelist / ordering information, please contact

    nkristan@indo.net.id

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    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:47 AM  

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