I Am That Girl Now

Monday, July 25, 2005

Oh, where to begin...

I need to stop having such long periods of time between posts that I feel the need to start each and every one with "I'm still alive!" Feh.

That said, I am still alive, so there's that. It is hotter in Chicago at the moment than it has been since the summer I moved here, and I had central a/c then (and no clue how damned lucky I was to have it, having never before lived anywhere that didn't have central a/c). Granted, that summer was also the summer of ComEd sucking complete ass, with power going out for long periods of time here and there around the city. The financial & political district of the Loop was hit with a day-long outage right around Labor Day, if I remember this correctly, and the mayor was so pissed that he held a news conference specifically to scream at ComEd in as public a setting as possible. ComEd tried to calm people by paying for food gone bad in the grocery stores and restaurants and homes caught in the worst outage areas (which were sometimes electricity-less for days on end), but by that point everyone was so mad that such attention was a mere drop in the bucket. Investigations were done showing that ComEd hadn't bothered keeping Chicago's electrical grid up to snuff for years on end, and oh, what a black eye that was for them. ComEd has been sucking up to Chicago for five years now in order to convince us to forget how radically they fucked up.

My point being, the electricity had better hold. It is insanely humid, and at 5 this morning it was 85 degrees. This may be as far down the thermometer as things have gone since yesterday, when it was less humid (thank God) but hit 100 degrees. Dear God.

I did tone things down for HIIT this morning-- drank water before and during, took the speed down a notch, kept a careful eye on my pace and breathing-- but I'm taking a certain amount of pride in the fact that I still did it, anyway. I may have periods of time when my eating suffers, but the exercise remains regular.

I'm finally back in gear all the way. It took a week to get there, inch by inch, loading myself back up with all the carefully-balanced habits. I got our lunches made for the week, and have selected four new recipes to try this week (and ordered the groceries to make them with) so that we can stop being bored with the same old things that I got so dependent on. Got the frozen faux-cheesecake fudgesicles made yesterday, although the heat was such that our freezer took all day to freeze them. I've admitted to myself that I really do need to have my last mini-meal of the day be a dessert-type, so I'm also going to be trying out a brownie recipe and a pumpkin cheesecake recipe from the BFL cookbook. I've been guzzling water all weekend. And, thank God, my Hub is also back in gear and has been hitting dinner out of the park night after night.

It's so weird how this goes. Up until Friday I was struggling hard just to remember why the hell I was doing this-- no, that's not quite it; I was struggling to be able to give a rat's ass. I knew what I was doing, I knew that if I got everything back on track that I would feel much, much better, but the Inner Cartman kept up the don't waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanna! refrain. I was being both the petulant child and the frustrated mother at the same time. Exhausting.

It does, however, click back into place, given time and effort, and I feel okay now. I seriously need a nap-- we were up until 2 AM helping a friend install laminate flooring on Saturday, so it took forever to fall asleep last night-- but otherwise, I'm okay. I know how to do this stuff, it's just the give-a-shit that is occasionally lacking. Happily, it responds well to jump-starting, so if I start doing the right things again eventually I'll want to do them again.

In other news, I am in love with our financial advisors. It's such a huge relief to say, "I can handle the little stuff like savings accounts and making a budget and paying off credit cards and paying the bills, but beyond that I'm completely lost: HELP ME." Strangely, it was also a huge relief to have my Hub at that meeting with me. I've been the only one dealing with the finances for years now and suddenly he's at least caught up on the news, so to speak. Experts can convey the importance of these things in a way that I can't. I am unbelievably grateful. Yes, we're going to pay them money, but I'm grateful for the help nonetheless.

Work continues to blaze ahead. I'm going to try to remember to post here first thing in the morning, though, so that I can get my head on straight about this part of my life before I charge into work.

I am currently covered in tea tree oil-- my face is, at least. Apparently I have rosacia, which apparently has something to do with infected/inflamed sweat glands due to excess heat and sweating. Lord knows, I've been sweating like a Thanksgiving turkey on the last Wednesday of November, so the real question is how I managed to duck this before. Feh. This certainly answers the question of what my weird rash is, though, and if it responds to the tea tree oil then I don't have to get a prescription. Wheee.

It probably wouldn't do to take a nap on my desk when I'm bucking for a raise. Too bad. Must go get water instead.

3 Comments:

  • Sorry to hear about the heat. I've been seeing it on the news, too. You're so dedicated to keep your exercise up with that weather! Great job getting your meals together for the week, too. I need to start doing that because I know it helps, especially when motivation is lacking. Anyway, good to see you. :)

    By Blogger Zara, at 9:32 AM  

  • I was being both the petulant child and the frustrated mother at the same time.

    I know this feeling!!! Been there, too many times... just never thought to express it that way.

    I am happy that you posted, I wondered if you'd melted. :P The weather has sucked ass here in NYC, too. Ugh. I hate this sticky, humid weather. I hate sweating. Wanna move somewhere with much lower humidity - soon!

    I also admire you for dealing with exercise in this heat! That's really inspiring... but, uh, I'm not gonna exercise beyond cleaning my bathroom this afternoon!

    By Anonymous Mae, at 2:28 PM  

  • You're reminding me of my summers in Chicago (over 20 of them). Not that it's not humid here (in Naples, FL), but it doesn't feel like that godawful, no escaping it soup that happens in Chi-town for a couple of weeks every year. I consider your willingness to exercise under those conditions proof of some kind of God-like diet powers. Plus, getting it together in other ways at the same time. Good for you!

    By Blogger The Troescher Team, at 5:18 AM  

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