I Am That Girl Now

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

My nerves are all shot.

My Hub requested that I bug him about exercise once the moving-furniture thing was over and he was no longer sore. I have done as he asked, and, bless him, he agreed to put on Thumper the Heart-Rate Monitor and hop on the treadmill this morning.

Unbeknownst to me, he decided to start Week 1 of C25K, and admitted afterward that "it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be." Yay!

He's doing okay. I'm kind of a nervous wreck.

I am just not cut out to be the motivational force for someone else's project, and I don't feel like it's a very good idea. I've got way too many memories of my dad goading me into exercise when I was younger, and I lack perspective to figure out where the line is between helping and being leaned on too much, and where the line is between helping and goading. I'm spending most of the time appending disclaimers to my actions so that I can ease my guilty conscience a bit, but I don't know if that's undermining my job. Argh.

On the other hand, my Hub informs me that since half of him wants to do this and the other half would like me to fuck off and go buy him a pizza, I'm going to have to prop up the other half for a while here. He asked me to do this, and then he told me again today (between complaints) that he wants me to keep it up. And granted, this is the first day back for him back on the horse, so it's possible that after a week or so he'll fall into the routine and stop depending on me.

I am trying not to flip out. It will be okay. I keep telling him that any time he wants me to stop this, he just has to say, and I will stop, no questions asked, and that I'm proud of him no matter what. And I'm trying very hard to be gentle and encouraging. And it's encouraging that he has already located the high horse that goes along with exercise, teasing me this morning that I "wouldn't be so tired if [I]'d gotten some exercise." Har.

I am going to cook meat for my Hub tonight, because I don't think that I should have him do two things he's not used to yet in the same day. Chicken and steak are thawing in the fridge, along with some fish for meee. I'm thinking that when one is trying new things (tofu! egad, he ate tofu!), it's a good thing to be reassured soon after that the old things are not going away. Steak for the Hub tonight, and I'll put together some shrimp stir-fry for the rest of the week.


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