I Am That Girl Now

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

My Hub vs. the treadmill

I wasn't sure what to expect this morning from my Hub, but I did, by golly, put on my yoga togs and roll out the yoga mat and start up the DVD. My Hub grumbled around for a few minutes, updated his mp3 player, pulled on a sweatsuit and sneakers, and headed into the sun room. The door closed. Thumping noises ensued, and noises of him talking to himself. Then the treadmill started.

I'm not sure, but from the noises the treadmill made it sounded like he was going too fast for his first day. Then again, his legs are quite a bit longer than mine, so if he was actually walking fast I can imagine he'd be going about .5 mph faster than I do. He went for about fifteen or twenty minutes (there's no clock in the room I was in, so I had no way of knowing), then he was done.

I told him I was terribly proud of him, which is true. He didn't want to do it but he did, which as far as I'm concerned is more impressive than if he'd wanted to do it and did it.

My Hub, however, is grouchy. He doesn't like doing things that he's not instantly good at, or at least okay at. It's not to say that he won't do them-- he's admirably stubborn that way-- but it does tend to curtail any enjoyment of the process for a while. He is pissed off and, as he put it, "in a deep state of loathing" regarding his athletic prowess at the moment, and this immediately turned into making disgusted comments about his abilities and his body and so forth.

The whole time I was lavishing support on him, I kept thinking Dear Lord, is this what I sounded like? It's one thing to say these things about yourself and to be able to brush off everyone else's support because they don't really KNOW, do they?, but it's another to hear it coming out of someone else's mouth, someone you love like crazy. He kept testing me in a half-serious, half-joking way, trying to trap me into agreeing with his bad opinion of himself, but I wasn't having any of it. He's the one who showed me how to love someone unconditionally and how to support them when they don't know how to support themselves, dammit, and I am a good learner. I'm giving it right back to him. He deserves it. He's such a good man, he's so good for me, he so very much deserves all the love and respect and support I could ever give him.

Seriously, if he doesn't ever get on the treadmill again, I'm still proud of him for today. If he does it again on Friday, I'll be proud of him for Friday. The reasons are encapsulated, the pride lasts forever. And you know what? That goes for all of us, too. I'm proud of us for each little thing, each day. Hats off!


Post a Comment

<< Home