I Am That Girl Now

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Good thing I'm off sugar

The office holiday season sugarfest has begun. Items of note:

  • Two large variety boxes of doughnuts, visible from my very desk;

  • A pile of mini Butterfingers candy bars, also visible from my very desk;

  • A thing full of Swedish Fish, which I am forever shunning due to the day that I discovered, and deliriously enjoyed, them to the point where I burned the shit out of the roof of my mouth (true story; the whole damn top of my mouth later PEELED, all from Swedish Fish);

  • Various candy bars and whatnot, all in a pile (distinct from the pile of Butterfingers);

  • Leftover sugary baked breakfast items (cinnamon rolls, scones, and whatnot) from a morning meeting, now displayed in the kitchen).

  • This is just the beginning, folks, and does not take into account the candy bowls displayed on various desks. Immediately following Thanksgiving, it will get worse. That's when we'll start receiving suck-up Christmas gifts from the various companies we deal with, almost all of which are a) cookies, b) chocolate, c) candy, d) flavored popcorn, or e) combinations of any of the above. Occasionally exceedingly salted nuts are also included. Happy fuckin' holidays, y'all.

    I'm not looking forward to Thanksgiving. It's for a different reason than usual, oddly; usually I'm not looking forward to having so many temptations at my very fingertips and having to sort through the gravy-drenched dreck for gems of nutrition while wanting very much to misbehave. This time through, I'm just tired of the concept of having to deal with this stuff. I've reached the point where a lot of this food is just stomach-turning to me, the dry turkey and the watery mashed potatoes and greasy gravy, the only green vegetables available being the green beans in that horrible fried-onion-topped cassarole, and pie, which I have always had a problematic relation with due to some early traumatic memories of bad pie crust. There's going to be chips and dip and crackers and sausage and cheese, and I swear to God I'm getting vaguely nauseous just thinking about it all. I do not want this food. I fear this food. I realize that it is the food of my family, the food of my home, but there are very good reasons that high cholesterol and diabetes are starting to pop up in my family, and the fact that we apparently lack an ability to make tasty food and thus rely upon commercial products for taste, commercial products which are high-fat, low-fiber, involving refined flour and refined sugar and a hell of a lot of chemical flavorings which ARE JUST NOT NATURAL, PEOPLE. My family, my family, we're victims of cooking ignorance. I swear, I live for the day that we can stay home for Thanksgiving with a few relatives and show how the damn thing should be done to show off nature's bounty.

    We're going to be arriving, by plane, ON Thanksgiving, which means that the amount of healthy food we'll be able to purchase is nill (traveling on a federal holiday is for shit, y'all), and the amount we'll be able to bring along with us is very limited. Argh.

    Anyway. The point being: this is going to be a very long weekend.


    • I was fortunate to be invited to the dinner of some people who can't cook for sh*t, and they really didn't provide anything that was tempting! I ate only a normal-sized dinner, no seconds, etc.

      By Blogger M@rla, at 6:08 AM  

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