I Am That Girl Now

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Why yes, this might be PMS

The herbal supplements are working, but I'm low on sleep because my husband can't seem to get to bed at a normal hour and I'm fool enough to take my cues from him. So I'm still saying "Poor sweetie" when he looks sad and says he's tired (granted, he woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't get back to sleep for a few hours), but while my mouth says that, my brain is making noises behind the scenes along the lines of "What are YOU tired for? You went out for pizza and beer and then came home and typed on the internet. While you were doing that, I came home and cooked and then ran around the house getting everything ready for the next day. AND I'M NOT COMPLAINING!" Except that, oops, then I would be complaining.

Now that his out-of-town friends are returning from whence they came, and he's recovered fully from that awful cold he had, I'm turning supper duties over to him. I want help with the lunch-packing, too. Free ride time is OVER.

In a fit of generosity and thoughfulness, I made some of those Golden Pancakes last night so that he could tote them to work, since he's okay with oatmeal but very blah-feeling about it. I told him about this, and he made appropriate noises of gratitude. Sadly, this hit one of those words-vs.-actions things this morning, because after saying nothing when I packed up the stupid pancakes (and syrup!) and toted them to work, he mentioned when I was making my oatmeal that he'd eaten leftover pizza for breakfast. There was a pause while I reminded myself that I'm supposed to be happy that he's eating any breakfast at all, so DO NOT FRIGHTEN HIM OFF THAT, and then I said, "Okay, then, we'll put the pancakes in the fridge for tomorrow."

I'm inwardly very grumpy. I'm going to be hard pressed to remember that I don't want to push him to eat healthy yet, as long as he eats regularly. But ARRRGH, pizza for breakfast. Not just any pizza, either, but the Lou Manalti's deep-dish pizza that has about a pound of sausage pressed into it and is denser than uranium. Lord help me hold my tongue.

One of my friends chirpily informed me that she totally gets the protein/carbs/fat thing, it's so important, that's why she makes sure she has peanut butter with all her snacks because it's, like, nature's most perfectly balanced food. I was also informed that she is a wise consumer and thus chooses Simply Jif, which has less fat than normal brands. I looked up Simply Jif and compared it to my natural peanut butter (of which I am fond because it just balls-out shows you all the oil in it, no pretenses), and it's pretty much the same thing for fat, protein, and carbs. The website says it has less sugar and sodium, not fat. Either way, I'm still seeing more fat grams than grams of protein and carbs combined, and that kind of math makes me think, "Danger, Will Robinson."

I have nothing against peanut butter, but dude, it is what it is. Health food, it ain't. A little bit as a tasty, fatty flavoring, sure, but if I'm gonna eat 15 grams of fat I wanna get at least ten minutes of chewing out of it.

(You know what else has around 16 grams of fat and 190 calories per serving? Braunschweiger. Liverwurst, dude. Now that I think of it, I actually like braunschweiger better than peanut butter. It's got more protein to it, too. Am I going to call it a health food, though? Dear God, no.)

Oh yeah, I'm grouchy. I am not allowed to speak to humans today or post anything online in areas where our friends hang out. I need a nap.

In other news, when I was left to my own devices after leaving the office I figured I had two choices: either indulge in harmless guilty pleasures, or go home like a good girl and spend the night fighting the urge to eat for comfort. Guilty pleasures it was. I wandered in and out of various stores, shamelessly window-shopping, and spent a good ten or fifteen minutes at the tiny gourmet grocery store, doing what Naomi calls "visiting the food". Looked at everything. Ended up buying a package of string cheese and six different cans of diet soda, none of which I'd tried before and half of which I'd never even seen before. Went down the street and wandered into a new organic sandwich shop, chattered with the guy behind the counter to get the scoop, and, because they also stock premium chocolate, picked up two bars of Vosges chocolate (Black Pearl and the Mexican one) for a hostess gift.

Yeah, baby, me so crazy.

I have taken to scale-watching as a form of entertainment not dissimilar to an oujia board. This is twice as entertaining since I have that Tanita scale that claims to read your body fat percentage. The size of the grain of salt I'm taking with that claim is large indeed. I'm not expecting accuracy, lord knows, just hoping to see if there are any trends developing. Today's reading put me down one pound from last Friday and down three percent body fat. Uh-huh. Some day I'll get over my gym-class-induced loathing of the calipers and get a real BF% done.


  • Probably not very sound reasoning, but I actually have a rationale with regard to peanut butter. Let me preface this by saying that I'm a strict calories in, calories out girl, which so far works for me.

    The thing is, I love carbs. I love bread and crackers and rice cakes. I also love apples and bananas. None of those things have very much protein on their own and even though peanut butter has two grams of fat per gram of protein, at least it's protein. So I cheerfully consume a tablespoon or two of peanut butter every couple of days smeared on bread, crackers, rice cakes, apples, bananas, celery or whatever else is around that seems peanut butter friendly.

    So, like I said, not the best reasoning, but since i know I'm going to eat all those carbs anyway, it's kind of a compromise position and is one of the things that has helped me improve my fat/carb/protein ratios a bit. I still wouldn't call peanut butter a "health food" though.

    By Anonymous Alison, at 12:38 PM  

  • Oh my gosh, your posts ALWAYS cheer me up! I too find myself biting my tongue constantly, and repeating to myself things like, "It seems like I'm a member of a cult if I try to push it [healthiness] on others. It seems like a cult if I try to push it on others... The more I push the farther they'll go. The more I push the farther they'll go...." But sometimes so hard not to, eh?

    Also, it really chaps my hide when I read in some of those fluffy "health" magazines that peanut butter is just this amazing health food and "a great source of protein!" Says my pants, "Sister, that added protein is going straight to your ass!"

    By Anonymous Cynthia, at 12:53 PM  

  • agh! jif has "less" sugar? peanut butter shouldn't have sugar in it, dude! i went to the jif site and couldn't find the ingredients. uh oh. peanut butter should be just peanuts (and salt, if you like that sort of thing. which, i do).

    i love my (natural) peanut butter, but it's a condiment. dainty portions. and, if it's just peanuts (and salt), you get the goodness of the peanut oil. but lots of peanut butter manufacturers take out the peanut oil and sell it (it's valuable), replacing it with a lower-quality, less healthy oil.

    buyer beware!

    By Anonymous tszuj, at 5:35 PM  

  • What is it with boys and pizza for breakfast? Mine does it all the time and it drives me mental! good on you for holding your tongue though- i am not so good at that! :)

    By Blogger Amy, at 1:55 AM  

  • och! that really gets on my tits too. even the so-called natural PB's often have Palm Oil added. PALM OIL! The oil of satan!

    in australia i used to go this market where there was a little machine they poured peanuts into, and it just ground them up and they oozed out the other end. no salt, no added oil. just into a plastic pail or a jar, whatever container you fancied. my sister used to sprinkle salt on hers but it was yummy without it.

    btw you are saint for being so patient with your hubby... woohoo!

    By Anonymous dietgirl, at 9:45 AM  

  • I am in awe of your restraint and I am learning a lot from your blog.

    I must get some guilty pleasures that do not involve comfort food. Hmmm...

    By Blogger Nikki, at 11:08 AM  

  • Meg - the main reason you want to stay away from Jif-type peanut butter, or even reduced fat all natural peanut butters is because they contain transfat. These are the bad fats. Stick with full-fat all natural PB or nut butters whose only ingredients are nuts (and salt) as someone else mentioned in their comment.

    By Blogger amyella, at 11:52 AM  

  • Amy, believe me, I am. My tiny jar of peanut butter is all natural.

    My friends, on the other hand, are apparently retarded. ::beats head against wall:: I'm giving this one breathing room, though, because she claims that as soon as she's settled in at her new house she's going to tackle the healthy-living/weight-loss/exercise thing... and she's smart enough to eventually work it out for herself.

    By Blogger Meg, at 12:25 PM  

  • It's like what you said about political conversations - it's so hard to wrap my head around "WHY DON'T YOU GET IT - IT'S SO DAMN OBVIOUS!" :)

    By Blogger amyella, at 5:15 PM  

  • I think it might be because she has diabetics in her family, so everything she knows about nutriton, essentially, she learned from them...

    God, I swear, holding my tongue is the hardest thing about all of this. I have to sit there repeating to myself It doesn't sink in if it bounces off, it doesn't sink in if it bounces off...

    By Blogger Meg, at 5:53 PM  

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